Paris, my love! I´m leaving you! (Again?!) 

Trains-Parismonamourjetequitte - The return to Salone.com

I live my last days in Paris and I had to write an article about this city that I love hating, which offers so many opportunities, and also so many constraints, which is so beautiful and so depressing sometimes.   

I recognize that these few months in the French capital have not been that (intolerable pain, claustrophobia and stifling agoraphobia and extinction of my soul and my humanity) negative. Especially thanks to cousins ​​and friends at the top and a maturity that I didn’t have 5 years ago when I left Paris for the first time, swearing never to return.

Between 2 getaways to other lands (Normandy, Berlin, Sczcecsin, Marseille, Nans Pins, Toulouse …) as soon as I had a Weekend of 3 days, I learned to focus on what the capital had to offer better. Paris buzzes: want an exhibition? Want to go out? Want a concert? Karaoke? Cinema? Not to mention the multitudes of restaurants. The city leaves us with immense embarrassment: that of choice.

Often unable to decide between 2 possibilities of outings, I managed to convince myself that staying at home was the best alternative and that an evening book-computer-music-chocolate was, after all, an equally rewarding prospect (the laziness …)   

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The indecision and also the fact that being compressed in a place with too many people rarely pleased me (no matter where you go, I feel there are always too many people everywhere in this city … ). Nevertheless I was able to overcome these two obstacles sometimes and make some interesting outings.

Besides the visited places, I’ve made here exceptional and decisive meetings for the rest of my adventure- I’ve especially met Manna Claudelle from the blog Youngiftedandblack (link here) and we can say that the name of the blog describes his personality well because she is actually gifted (talented).

I met my new heroine who will certainly be the subject of an article in the serie black girls magic: Melissa Lavaux. Haitian singer, activist. I’ve discovered her by chance thanks to the Facebook page “Ayibopost” Haitian news website (her interview here) and she teaches me a lot about Haiti. I had the chance to meet her in person at the afro blog entry event which took place on September 29 at playful randomness (Paris 18th) and she is as friendly and natural as she appeared to me in video and kindly answered all my questions (she was in Ghana! And she loved it! Yeaaah) 

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La rentrée du blog L’Afro -Paris mon amour, je te quitte. The-return-to-Salone.com

And then all those people I talked to about my adventure, who believe in me and help me achieve my goals without asking anything in return.

I also got used to walk in Paris, putting on pause a few moments/hours the hectic pace of the city and getting to walk to my appointments, to work, or whatnot. This makes it possible to appreciate the city otherwise (and to have great calves!)

Between Château-Rouge and Place Vendôme we do not find the same atmosphere, the same people, the same problems, the same life. Moving from one to the other gives the impression of passing in 2 parallel worlds that coexist but do not mix. For me Paris is a condensed of what is done better and worse in these two worlds.

On the one hand a tidy, beautiful, elegant, financially rich, very neat, calm slightly condescending world, and on the other a noisy world, disordered, sometimes stifling, with odors (pleasant or not) colors, music, splinters of voices and bursts of laughter.

And I realize that I am a mixture of both and when these two worlds come together, that’s where I feel better.

But the big black point for me is that in 5 years of absence, I have found that social misery has spread dramatically in the city. Back from Germany, the contrast is blatant. I have never seen so much homeless and begging people as here.   

And all these Syrian families with children, elderly people abandoned under the bridges to the Parisian device. Yet since 2011 France has received only a paltry number of Syrians. About 10 000 have obtained refugee status (against 1 million in Germany sources: here and here). I do not memories about meting families with children begging in Berlin, and where the state could sometimes be faulty in their host system, private citizen actions are regularly organized via Facebook and other: Collective courses of cooking with migrants, collections of clothes, language courses etc…

In Paris, I mostly felt a feeling of great indifference and instant defiance.

Paris City of Light, Paris City of Culture, but Paris is certainly not a host city for the most deprived.

And by dint of being solicited constantly, stress, fatigue, our own worries, we start developing this disdainful attitude or ignore these people, pretending not to see them.

But I and my sensibility have been struggling to manage.

So, I am thankful for everything that has brought me this city but I leave the light hearted.

What is sure though is that as long as it’s only going to momentaneous, I’ll come back.   

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Paris mon amour, je te quitte! (encore?!)

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Transilien – Paris mon Amour je te quitte – The-return-to-salone.com

English version : here

Je vis mes derniers jours à Paris et je me devais d’écrire un article sur cette ville que j’adore détester, qui offre tellement d’opportunités, et aussi tellement de contraintes, qui est tellement belle et tellement déprimante parfois.

Je reconnais que ces quelques mois dans la capitale française n’ont pas été que (souffrance intolérable, claustrophobie et agoraphobie étouffante et extinction de mon âme et de mon humanité) négatifs. Surtout grâce à des cousines et amis au top et une maturité que je n’avais pas 5 ans auparavant lorsque j’ai quitté Paris pour la première fois, me jurant de ne plus jamais revenir.

Entre 2 escapades vers d’autres contrée (Normandie, Berlin, Sczcecsin, Marseille, Nans les Pins, Toulouse…) dès que j’avais un Week end de 3 jours, j’ai appris à me concentrer sur ce que la capitale avait à offrir de mieux. Paris bourdonne : envie d’une expo? Envie de sortir? Envie d’un concert? Karaoke? Ciné? Sans oublier les multitudes de restaurants. La ville nous laisse devant un immense embarras : celui du choix. 

Souvent n’arrivant pas à me décider entre 2 possibilités de sorties, je réussissais à me convaincre que rester chez moi était la meilleure alternative et qu’une soirée livre-ordi-musique-chocolat était, après tout une perspective toute aussi enrichissante (la flemme quoi…)

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L’indécision et aussi le fait qu’être compressée dans un endroit avec trop de gens ne me réjouissait que rarement (peu importe où tu vas, j’ai l’impression il y a toujours trop de monde partout dans cette ville…). Néanmoins j’ai pu quand même vaincre ces 2 obstacles parfois et faire quelques sorties intéressantes.

Outre les lieux visités, j’ai fait ici des rencontres exceptionnelles  et déterminantes pour la suite de mon aventure- J’ai notamment rencontré Manna Claudelle du blog Youngiftedandblack (lien ici) et on peut dire que le nom du blog décrit bien sa personnalité car elle est effectivement gifted (talentueuse).

J’ai rencontré ma nouvelle héroïne qui fera certainement très prochainement l’objet d’un article dans la série black girls magic : Melissa Lavaux. Chanteuse haïtienne, activiste. Je l’ai découvert par hasard grâce à la page Facebook “Ayibopost” site web d’actualités haïtienne (son interview ) et elle m’apprend beaucoup de choses sur Haïti. J’ai eu la chance de la rencontré en personne lors de l’événement de rentrée du blog l’afro qui a eu lieu le 29 septembre au hasard ludique. (Paris 18ème) et elle est aussi sympathique et naturelle qu’elle m’apparaissait en vidéo et a gentiment répondu à toutes mes questions (elle a été au Ghana! Et elle a adoré! Yeaaah)

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La rentrée du blog l’Afro. Interview sur l’afro féminisme avec Melissa Lavaux

 

Et puis toutes ces personnes à qui j’ai parlé de mon aventure, qui croient en moi et m’aident à atteindre mes objectifs sans rien demandé en retour (Audrey à la traduction, Kathy à la communication GRAND MERCI A VOUS).

J’ai aussi pris l’habitude de marcher dans Paris, de mettre sur pause quelques instants/heures le rythme effréné de la ville et de me rendre à pied à mes rendez-vous, au boulot, ou autre joyeusetés. Ce qui permet d’apprécier autrement la ville (et d’avoir des mollets d’enfer !!)

Entre Château-rouge et la place Vendôme on ne retrouve absolument pas la même atmosphère, les mêmes personnes, les mêmes problèmes, la même vie. Passer de l’un à l’autre donne l’impression de passer dans 2 mondes parallèles qui coexistent mais ne se mélangent pas. Pour moi Paris est un condensé de ce qu’il se fait de mieux et de pire dans ces deux mondes.

D’un côté un monde bien rangé, beau, élégant, financièrement riche, très propret, calme légèrement condescendant, et de l’autre un monde bruyant, désordonné, étouffant parfois, avec des odeurs (agréables ou pas d’ailleurs) des couleurs, de la musique, des éclats de voix et des éclats de rire.

Et je me rends compte que je suis un mélange des deux et que quand ces 2 mondes sont réunis, c’est là que je me sens le mieux.

Mais le gros point noir pour moi, c’est que en 5 ans d’absence, j’ai constaté que la misère sociale s’est étendue de manière spectaculaire dans la ville. De retour d’Allemagne , le contraste est flagrant. Je n’ai jamais autant vu de SDF, de personnes qui mendient qu’ici.

Et toutes ces familles syriennes avec des enfants, des personnes âgées laissés à l’abandon sous les ponts vers le périphérique parisien. Pourtant depuis 2011 la France n’a accueilli qu’un nombre dérisoire de Syriens. Environ 10 000 ont obtenu le statut de réfugié (contre 1Million en Allemagne sources : et ). Je n’ai pas souvenir d’avoir croisé des familles avec des enfants en train de mendier à Berlin, et là où l’Etat pouvait parfois être défaillant dans leur système d’accueil, des actions citoyennes privées sont régulièrement organisées via Facebook et autre : des cours de cuisine collectifs avec des migrants, des récoltes de vêtements, des cours de langue etc…

A Paris, j’ai surtout ressenti un sentiment de grande indifférence et une défiance instantanée.

Paris ville de lumière, Paris ville de culture, mais Paris n’est certainement pas une ville d’accueil pour les plus démunis.  

 

Et à force d’être sollicité sans arrêt, le stress, la fatigue, nos propres soucis font qu’on en vient à développer cette attitude dédaigneuse ou à ignorer ces personnes, à faire semblant de ne pas les voir.

Mais moi et ma sensibilité avons eu du mal à gérer.

Alors je suis reconnaissante de tout ce que m’a apporté cette ville mais je pars le cœur léger.

Ce qui est sûr néanmoins c’est que tant que ce ne sera que de passage, je reviendrais.

English Version here

 

I’m back!

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French version  here
First I’d like to post an entry in English to apologise for the abandonment. But I’m now back stronger and more motivated that I’ve ever been!
At lot has happened this past few months, and lot a more is coming in the next few ones also. For those of you who were not aware, I moved, came back in France. I thought it would be just a stop before I left for Africa, but as you know things don’t always go as I plan them. Various reasons led me to accept an 8 months work position (needed the money). Because of that I had to live in the Parisian suburbs until the end of September before I can finally fly over to Africa.
It was all not bad, because it allowed me to see people I hadn’t seen in forever (granted not all of them but I’ll be back so….), solve some family issues, create new ones, discover new landscapes, rediscover forgotten places, party, be there for quite a few births (is it me or everyone decided to have babies this year?) and to eat, eat, and eat again…
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to realise that Paris is really not the city for me, and to smile because it was fun while it lasted.
Most importantly it allowed me to rest, think and plan my trip with a rested mind. Leaving for an adventure is all fun and games but I now feel reassured to know that I can take care of myself over there, and that I know how and where exactly I’m going.
Plus I’ll have new travel companions with me that we’re not planned, and now from a simple trip to Ghana it has extended into a trip of several months in Western Africa, with stops in 5 or 6 different countries where I’ll be joined with people I met all over the place and at different times of my life…
I also have a second trip coming up but that’s for another poste.
The next 6 months will be nothing but discoveries, meetings, travels, and seeing where life takes us.
Great ain’t it?
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Idris agrees… 🙂
One of the things that I also wanted to do during this long break of mine, was to really think of where I wanted to take this blog, my projects and my life.
My goal in creating this blog was note to have it become my diary, nor give you guys my life story but to tell you about my journey towards self discovery. My life takes me from the West Indies to Africa, and this leads to quite a few questions on identity, culture and representation…
Plus, I suck in English why did I decide to write in English in the first place?
So from now on I will write in french and a very dear friend of mine kindly accepted to do the translation. (Thank you Dreydrey, you rock girl!)
Anyway lack of trust in oneself and her best friend “demotivation” soon plagued me, so much so that, I, who had a head full of ideas and questions, soon found myself wondering “what if no one is interested?”
What if…? What if…?
Truth is I’m not writing for people to take an interest in me. I write to debate and question things. I write because because I feel OUR voices are not heard enough, us uprooted children.
To summarise: who am I? Where am i from? What am I?
These are the questions that I’ve asked and I’m still asking myself sometimes as an Haitian girl, who is also French naturalised. I’m sure lots of us are in this case.
I write to put an end to some clichés people have and break some taboos. But I mainly right to share my travels, my view of life, my favourites, and mostly my love for Africa.
People are shocked when I say I don’t feel French, I lie when I say I feel a 100% Haitian, if I were to say I’m completely African it’d be like burying my head in the sand, but the fact is that I’ll never pass off as a pure European wherever I go.
Do I feel like all these culture are part of me? Of course.
In the end I’ll write post that you’ll find interesting or not, that some will relate with and others not, some will have an eye opening experience, others won’t care.
And you know what? I’m okay with that.
I’ll write on the subjects that I found interesting, on everything that gets caught in my weird brain waves. While we’re at it let’s get on thing out, I’m not claiming to have all the answers, nor judge or pretend to teach you a lesson, I’m opened to critiscim, and even more to constructive debates.
As time goes by, and my trip approches, I’ll be posting more regularly. I’ve started to equip myself so I can share the most with you guys and I can’t wait?
Who else is with me??

French version here